Priorities

Breathe….

I have to remind myself to take a second, a minute, an hour, a day, and breathe…

I have the things that I want to do and yet I’m smothered by the things that I have to do.  There are the emails, the tasks, the obligations, the uber-supportive team (yes, thank you to all of you because without you, I’d be underwater), there are the kids, the pets, my workouts, and the commute….Oh My God, the commute! (yes, I hate it!!)

My workouts take me to where I want to be without having to think about it.  Pure physicality and sweat!  True bliss (believe it or not).  They are never getting replaced for something less significant again.

My team, in the job less fulfilling, keeps me afloat and my head above water.  That job was my refuge and my sanctuary when it was the only place I could go to escape from home.  They are all amazing and I love them dearly!  And, while the job no longer moves me or speaks to my soul, I would still give my all for it, for right now, I owe it everything….or at least, a lot.

My pets are the yin and the yang…the pleasure and pain.  From ruined clothes and tattered carpets, I think I can’t take another second and then the purest of loves moves me to give more, unquestioningly.

I give, and I give and I give.  I don’t think about the reason or anything…if I can say yes, then I do.  I hope you know that it is not for you, but for me.  I know this, now…finally.  I know this as much as I also know that its time to stop, and say no!  NO!  NNNOOOO!!!!! May be too harsh, but probably not really.

Through all the choices that I’ve made, and outcomes I’ve brought to my life, I understand that it was my priorities, either real or imagined, that drove my decisions.  And thus, those decisions shaped by life.  I have learned a lot, and yet still find lessons before me.

Early in my life, I learned that my priorities should be about others.  Not about me, Never about me.  So in my life, I’ve wandered an unlit road.  Today and tomorrow, I choose to turn the light on.  To guide a path.  And to embrace a life that I am a part of.

OK, yes,…if you read a few posts back, I essentially did this a few weeks ago also.  But, with each dawn, or clarifying inspiration, I find a new point of light to embrace.  A new toehold to clutch and drive myself upward.

I embrace this life and the opportunities it brings.  Happy and whatever…. Good and ….whatever.  I embrace the positive!  I embrace the good!  My priorities are right, and as they should be….. I embrace me!