Not Bad doesn’t mean Good

Over the last two days I have heard two different people talk about the value of clarity in defining goals.  It suddenly struck me, as though I’d had my head in the sand, that I have been about the least clear person I know.  Well, that might not be true but it has certainly incapacitated me.

Why do I need to be clear?

Well for starters, if I want to go to a hotel, a specific hotel, in a specific city, I had better know the address.  To head north and hope I get there seems pretty ridiculous.  But in a sense, to move forward in life without clarity is pretty much the same thing.  You head in a direction and hope you recognize it when you see it.  The problem is that strategy keeps you always looking.

So that’s the road on which I’ve found myself.  I always said, “I want to do good work.”  Hmmm.  Pretty broad.  Counter-intuitively, I saw it as a great strategy, keep the options wide open and don’t define what it looks like.  Feel your way.

I definitely believe in intuition and the ability to recognize what feels right.  But what about as a direction.  How does just feeling move me forward.  Well, it doesn’t; not by itself.

What’s the appeal of the open-ended goal?

If I find a better option or a prettier flower, I can easily change course. Squirrel?

The problem with this is that constant course changes usually result in time spent recalculating next steps.  Recalculating takes time away from progress.

There are other reasons not to commit to clarity.  It’s the fear that I’m not worthy of what I’m dreaming about.  That I will be laughed at.  That my current situation isn’t that bad.  Well honey, not that bad doesn’t mean it’s good.  And even if the situation is OK and you are miserable, then it’s not.

So where do I want to go?  I need to get real, real specific.  I want a good job isn’t nearly specific enough.  Neither is, I want a job I like.  I want to start a business to provide adults the tools that would empower them to live lives they are passionate about.  I want to help adults, specifically parents and teachers, give children tools to be passionate about things in their lives.  I want the ability to collaborate, write, and travel.  I want to earn a salary that would double my current one.

Now, that’s more specific. Better.  But could still use some work.

Clarity gives me the opportunity to take two next steps.  The first is to identify what would be the issues that I might have to overcome to reach my goal.  I might be laughed at.  I might have people ask who I think I am.  So, I have to face fear.  Fear of possible rejection.  Fear of not producing work that’s valued.  If I recognize what the downside can be, then I can address it. “Well if that’s all it is, then that’s overcomeable”.

The second advantage to clarity is that it helps me take the next step and make it a specific one.  I may not know what the final product looks like, but if I know a theme, then I can start to pull together tools that make sense.  If my outcome is the North Pole I don’t want to collect bathing suits.  So if my outcome is to empower others, I want to create or collect tools that will do that.  But it also gives me an opportunity to ask more questions, like: “How do I want to empower?” “How will the person know they are empowered?”  It lets me further define and refine.  So I’m not just taking a shot in the dark.

Life isn’t that bad can be a great rationalization.  But it is still a rationalization and it can keep us from imagining and working toward the clarity of what a good life, like one I imagine, would look like.

So, what life do I really want? I’ll know it when I define it and then I take steps towards it.  That’s clarity.